I’m No Super Mom
Posted by Katry Maurice on
Some have bestowed the "Super Mom" compliment upon me. "I present to you, Madam Super Mom"; tap, tap on the shoulders with a magical sword. The only thing I want to do is use that magical sword to cast a spell on my house to clean itself and make dinner. There are Super Dads out there too! (No Bill, it doesn't count if you've unloaded the dishwasher today!)
I appreciate the compliment tremedously. I think it is a way for people to tell moms that they respect them for all that they do. As I say "thank you" to such an honourable compliment, I cannot help but feel this immense pressure to keep it up. What if I don't want to keep it up all. of. the. time?! Will my Super Mom title be pried away from my tired, cold, coffee-induced nerve-stricken hands?
Being Super Mom implies perfection. I am not perfect. Would you like a few examples?
1. I yell. Yep, I said it. After I've repeated nicely a few times, the word "shoes" has never sounded so aggressive.
2. I say no for what seems like every day, every hour, every minute.
3. I lie. I have not kept all of their crafts from way back when. Sometimes, not even from last night.
4. I give in. "Oh you want the IPad at 5 a.m? Hell no! Go back to sleep. Try again at 6 a.m., because that's a more reasonable time." Then, I sleep beautifully until 7 and I am less likely to repeat #1 as often.
5. On weekends, my children wear their pyjamas. Sometimes the same pyjamas all night and all day for 2 days. Whatever man, less laundry.
6. I gave my 8 year old son the job of unloading the dishwasher. I am teaching him to be a responsible human being. Truth is, I gave him a job I hate.
7. I am a mom of boys and my bathrooms smell like pee all of the time. I cannot keep up.
8. Sometimes, most of the time, my motto is "Zero fucks given!"
9. Speaking of which, I swear too much. I tell my kids that they are adult words. When they repeat words I do not say, I blame daycare, school or my sister (she knows who she is..."tah bah rrr nak")
10. I fed my babies formula. Cue in a tribe of sanctimommy witch hunters who want to burn me to the stake!
All I want to say is, thank you for the awesome compliment, but I will not live up to it. My shoulders are already heavy enough as it is. To all of you Non-Super Moms out there, warm up your cold hands with a coffee mug, sit in a comfy pile of unfolded laundry and breathe. La vie est belle quand elle est simple.
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